18 hours

My car has a feature where you can set it and know how many hours you are driving. Because I am weird I reset it every time I refuel. I almost had a nervous breakdown when I saw that I spent 18 hours in the car last week.  I think for the past year I may have averaged 6 hours in the car per week. I know some of you people who work outside of the home have that many hours and I am not saying if you do that there is a problem but for me this is a problem. Its still from the ongoing drama of the car getting totaled and I think I can see the end in sight. If its not the end it may just be the end of a few insurance adjusters. Just kidding but not. I know I can look on the bright side and be thankful that besides making me crazy I am lucky to be able to do this without it really being an issue. Some people could not. I like my routines and for the past two months my routines have flown out the window along with my sanity and patience.

This morning we wake up to a light dusting of snow. Underneath the snow was lots of black ice. We left out driving at 6:10 am to get my hubby to work and our road wasnt too bad. Turned on a few others and they were a little worse and then before we got to a main road I slid. Not terrible I wasnt going that fast but my hubby did tell me to hurry past the stop sign since the yahoo behind us was closing in fast and he was going to slide right into us. I swear if someone crashes into our second car I may just get out and beat them down. Depending on the damage I may even steal their car like in the video games. We make it safely to his work and I make it home. Saw a few cars that lost control but I was fine. Terrified but fine. Had I known I would not have driven. Had we had another car, hubby would have been on his own, He loves driving in the stuff and is much better than I am anyway.

As I was sipping my tea this morning reflecting on all the things that are trying to kill me I had a thought. I was terrified but I did it. I was slow and cautious but I made it. I even went out a second time and the roads werent much better and made it back. What else is fear keeping me from doing? When getting chickens we feared would our neightbors complain. They did not or at least not to our faces. Fear of getting stung by bees kept us from getting them. We got them and we have gotten stung but we are fine. I have a much less reaction to the stings than Mr Ladybug.

I am stronger than I know and so are you. We do not know how strong we are until we are tested on it. Just because it doesnt work out the way we have it in our head, does no mean that we fail. We can adapt or we can blog about killing insurance adjusters and beating up strangers who wreck into us. I would like to encourage you to step out of fear and into faith. Faith in yourself that you can do whatever is holding you back. Faith that even if it doesnt quite work out doesnt mean its not going to later after a few tweaks to the plan.