When all hell breaks loose.

I would consider myself a pretty flexible person. I dont mind change, or at least thats what I thought. Seven months ago something happened inside my family that has changed lots of things. To the point that most days I do not know whether I am coming or going. I wont go into great detail. We all have things that come at us in life at some point and we just do what we can to survive. I made my circle very small and isolated myself from the world. Oh, I made it look like everything was okay and those closest to me knew it was not and were there for me. Things have gotten better and I never had any doubt that we wouldnt survive this but sometimes I did wonder. Sometimes I still wonder. To quote Forest Gump 'Thats all I got to say about that". With my oldest daughter getting married and then she and her husband purchasing their first home, my youngest graduating high school and getting ready to start college, my middle child is starting her junior year of college and its the first time in 20 years I will not have any children in public schools I thought it was a great time for a new start to our new lives. We decided to change rooms around, paint, declutter blah blah blah blah. All it really looks like is that I have made a huge mess and maybe a mistake. Then my phone died and I lost all my contacts. Did I mention I was going to try to start a little business? All the while the crazy thing I mentioned in the first paragraph keeps popping into the picture. So here we are today. I make plans to blog, this was my new years resolution for petes sake! All hell breaks loose. There is no other way to put it. They say what doesnt kill is makes us stronger. If thats true that I am freakin wonder woman! But I know that I am not alone. I know there is at least one person reading thats going through their own mess and I am here to tell you that you are not alone. Its okay to be mad, its okay to be a mess and its okay to swear if it makes you feel better. You just do what you gotta do to survive. Dont beat yourself up with "what if's". Its okay to cry, scream and question everything you have believed in. Just dont give up. None of my problems are going to go away with me holed up in my bedroom drinking my earl grey, thats tea for those of you who do not know. I have no idea why it bothered me to have anyone thinking I was boozing it up at 10 am. I am going to sign off, wash dishes, start laundry, throw away a bag of clutter, plan dinner, make arrangements go get my car to the shop tomorrow, tape off a room to paint and do at least one crafty thing that will make me smile. When life comes knocking on my door with those stinkin lemons. I am going to throw them back at them and tell them its almost apple picking season and I am ready to make cider for a while. Much love Mrs Ladybug